“Grief is a journey with a resolution”
Written and photos by Tina Tuan
On the morning of Nov 8th, 2018, when Gerald Smith first heard there was a fire nearby his home in Paradise, he didn’t think the danger was eminent since there was no evacuation order. So he went to his church where he serves as the Treasurer, to get key documents out, “just in case,” he thought. On his way home from the church, he knew something was terribly wrong, the heavy smoke had turned day into night, and he saw his house engulfed in flames. He was relieved to see that there was no car in the driveway so he knew his wife had fled already. He turned around and drove away as fast as he could.
Gerald saved his church’s key documents but none of his own. “I used to be a pastor and my wife Marie is a chaplain at the church,” said Gerald, a 72-year-old resident of Paradise. Later that morning, the couple reunited at their son’s home in Chico, grateful that both of them are alive.
On December 1st, Gerald and Marie came to FEMA DRC to receive Tzu Chi’s emergency cash card, they sat down at my station and shared the most horrific day of their lives. Marie said, “as a chaplain I do a lot of grief counseling, I always carry a grief cheat sheet in my purse, it’s very helpful at a time like this.” She explained to me that grief is a tangled ball of many different emotions - denial, pain, helplessness, abandonment, and everything else that is negative. Marie said, “grief is a journey, it’s a process, but it has a resolution.” Marie kindly offered the laminated cheat sheet to me and said, “you can have it and use it to help the others who come here.” I took a photo of it so I can have the information but she can keep the card with her. I can tell she needs it for herself.
Gerald and Marie are staying with their son’s family in Chico for now, but his son also took in two other families who were also evacuees. There have been lots of tensions for four families in a crowd space, so Gerald and Marie decided to go to Washington to stay with another family member. “Getting your cash card is the last thing we do at Chico, we will drive up to my sister’s in Washington now,” said Gerald. The couple were deeply touched by Tzu Chi’s story and wanted to take a photo with Master Cheng Yen’s portrait on display. “You guys are godsend,” said Gerald.
To start a new life in a new town at age 27 is exciting and romantic, but not quite so when you do it at age 72. Gerald and Marie are faithful people and believe God will guide them through. If grief is a journey then there must be an end to it. What’s the resolution of grief? It’s love, compassion, and the human spirit of everyone caring for one another.
It is hope.
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